One Day You Will: The Underground

Crawling through cramped, slimy passageways is far from the usual idea of a sexy outdoor weekend. It is not so glamorous as rock climbing or skiing, and most certainly is not as popular as hiking. There are no caving movies equivalent to ski porn to be found (and if there are, I don't want to know about them.)


Note: this is not cave porn.

Caving is a dirty, dark, and gritty activity. It requires that you have an ability to laugh at yourself, get covered in poop, and enjoy lots and lots of innuendos about virgin cave. You should be willing to hike long distances with a heavy pack just to lower into a dark hole and see what you can find.

You can find plenty of dead things, for instance.

Caving seems to draw in people who are somewhat on the strange side. This might be because the average person would look at that mysterious dark slot pictured above and understandably say "Hell, no."

As a (sort of) chaperone for a caving club, I not only purposely seek out these dark crevices, but rig up a group of teens to go in as well.

Like any other high school kids, they are goofy, giggly, and terrible at following directions.

Seen here: actually following directions.

The more I get to know them, the more amazed I am by their ability to laugh and be silly. They all have a story with a little heartbreak. Some have lost one parent, or both. Some were abandoned by their parents. Each of them has more than enough reason to be broken individuals, but by looking at them you wouldn't have any idea.They are smart and funny and can quote every line from Star Wars (which gives me hope for the future).

So what kind of people are drawn into caving?

We aren't polished individuals, and certainly won't be posing for any outdoor magazines anytime soon.

You won't be strolling around a cave in designer outdoor clothes, sporting a lovely tan and a light sprinkle of perspiration. You will be hands and knees in the mud, and face first in the guano.

You will unite with your fellow muddy cavers in fast friendship. Driving away from the cave, one of the girls sat up and said "Hey, Dreads" (for that is my very original nickname),"I like you a lot."

And deep down in my cold heart. . . I like them too.

If you tell people you've been caving over the weekend, you will get looks of slight confusion. A lot of them don't know that caving is a thing, or don't understand why anyone would want to do it.

I look at these kids and sort of wonder myself. What brought them here to a cave club, instead of basketball or cheerleading? It is far from the usual teenager's weekend commitment.

The caver's Slip n Slide

The answer, I suspect, might be mutual strangeness.

A caver desires to see something that few other humans have laid eyes on. To climb around in nature's most fantastic jungle gyms and become completely lost in an alien world. To climb out afterward and be absolutely stunned by ordinary colors and sounds we take for granted above ground.